
Let's talk about the WHORING Business, shall we. This is my take on the whoring business. For those guys who patronize this business, get in on some sobering thoughts. Lets break it up into categories:
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ASIANS: most Asian girls do OUTCALLS, probably because the pimps don't give a damn about putting these girls in harms way. Asians are also willing to have sex with anyone, and I mean ANYONE. They are desperate for money, and therefore, tend to be relatively cheap. As it is almost always the case with outcalls they make a generous use of the bait & switch scheme (see below for full explanation), that is , the picture you see is almost never the person you meet, or if it is, the photo is at least 15 years old. Also with outcalls, they want to get out of your place as quickly as possible. Asians generally dislike sex, and never enjoy it. Since sex is usually a drudgery to them, Asian girls have learned the art of faking orgasm and do some of the worst acting to show you they are enjoying it. They do that to get you off of them quicker. There are rare occasions when they will surprise you and a good looking one will show up and actually enjoys the sex. The Japanese are the most attractive, only because they are a little bigger and look more feminine. Japanese girls also like sex more than other Asians girls. Many Asians want to pass for Japanese when they are NOT. Chinese and Koreans are no more than decent looking, and Filipinas are the least attractive. Asian outcalls are invariably late, sometimes by hours, that's because they visit other johns on the way to you. So, guys, unless she washes (which is a maybe) you are going to get the germs of another guy or worse. There are also rumors that some Asian "women" are in fact transsexuals, in other words, at one point they were GUYS , which is not too difficult to believe since most Asian men look like girls, and the women have no tits. So, good luck with that.Suggestion: do incalls, so at least you'll see what they look like. Outcalls only if you're desperate or you know them well.
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WHITE WOMEN: again, unless you are willing to pay enormous amount of cash, the women you see in the ads ain't nothing like the one that walks in your door or find in the brothels. Most of these women are trailer park trash and are rarely very attractive. They are in it for the money, although, oddly very many do ENJOY the sex, I suppose it's because that's the only way they'll ever get any. It's not unusual to meet those who have regular jobs or go to college during the day, and therefore do it for both the money and sex. Sexual transmittable diseases is a big problems with these girls, so always use a condom, even if she wants it otherwise, as sometimes happens.Suggestion: do incalls, unless you know them well.
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BLACKS: these women are usually the cheapest you can find, for obvious reason. Because black women know they are not valuable merchandise, they may go out of their way to please you. However, they can be violent in a money dispute and usually carry weapons. Their pimps ain't no choir boys either. They are bad-ass-niggers who will blow you away if they don't like the way you "treat" their bitches. Caribbean women are different from American blacks: they can be very friendly, cheap, and give you great sex to boot.Suggestion: stay away from them if you can help it, with the possible exception of Island girls.
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RUSSIANS: they are usually attractive, unfortunately they can also be very mean spirited and cold. They will like the sex if they like you, if they don't they will rush you out the door. The few independent ones don't usually rush you like the rest because they probably feel they need the clientele. Many claim to work as "masseuses" or what they call "body-work", which generally means you pay $100 to get your neck rubbed, and then another $100 to get your cock popped (much more denaros if you wanna get layed.) Some are reluctant to take their panties off, or even to let you feel their boobs. This sounds like a big rip-off, and it probably is. Others will get you off with their tits, which is fun, but over-prized. They are greedy for cash, and they think you have a vast supply of it. Many also want to become American citizens, so don t be surprised if they cozy up to you and try to turn you into their boyfriend in the hope of getting citizenship papers with some phony marriage arrangement. Be careful, they can be very manipulative.Suggestion: be prepared for either great sex or immeasurable disappointment (and an empty wallet.)
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Polish, Czechoslovakian and Hungarian: my favorites. There are obviously few or none in your neighborhood, but patronize them whenever you can. They tend to be attractive, cheap and friendly, although they take liberty with the accuracy of their age. They are in it for the money, but they will enjoy the sex, if they think your are pleasant. If they like you, you'll have a great time. Like the Russians, they may try to get romantic with you; again, be careful with this idea.Suggestion: be nice to them and they'll be nice to you.
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LATINAS/HISPANICS/SOUTH AMERICANS/RICANS: they are the nastiest of the lot. Very many are dykes, and they hate your guts before you even enter the door. They lie about their age and appearance as though it was going out of style, and they almost always post deceptive photos. They may be cheap but whatever you pay them always seems too much. They are in it solely for the money, and can't wait to kick you out the door. Diseases and hygiene is a HUGE problem with these women. Considering where most come from, a pig sty doesn't look so bad to them. Their pimps can be very dangerous, however, a good number of them work as independents, usually in groups of other women. In any case don' t carry your wallet or you may never see it again. However, it must also be said that, because of their culture, many Latin women have a longing for male companionship, and may actually give you good old fashioned sex as though you were their surrogate husband. Those fresh from some Latin American countries, like Venezuela or Costa Rica, can give you a terrific time. Ditto for Dominicans and Colombians; they can be affectionate, and sexual work horses. Brazilians and Puerto Ricans, however, can mean BIG trouble.Many Hispanics/Latinas also have the nasty habit of claiming that they are Italian, Spaniards, or of other EUROPEAN descent. They obviously think they get more clients this way. Don't be fooled by this false claims (their Bronx accent and foul-mouths usually gives them away)Suggestion: keep away as much a possible except for some of the ones mentioned above.
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A WORD ABOUT TIME: If you are new at this, and even if you're not, a word must be said about YOUR concept of time, and THEIRS. Most whores make the half hour one hour distinction as part of the paying rates. However, in their world the half hour is more like 15 minutes, and the "whole" hour is really no more than 25, 30 minutes. By the way, that's not because the girls can't read time (they may be stupid, but they're not that stupid.) Carry a wrist watch just in case, and remind them of the elapsed time whenever you can. Those girls that enjoy sex will go the distance, but it doesn't always happens, since they are under pressure from their pimps to get the job done quickly. So, you are probably better off asking for the half hour on the first visit and see where that goes; you'll always have an opportunity to come back another day. Some whores think they are clever and will get you off as soon as possible, and then they'll start bullshitting about their troubled lives, or even worse, they want to know about yours (women are women after all and they love to jabber.) At this point you may want to insist on continuing the sex, but be careful, if she's not in the mood she can grow nasty (whores are whores and being nasty comes easy to them.) If she continues to bullshit, you are probably better off gathering your clothes and leave.
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THE BAIT AND SWITCH: the B&S is the all too popular method used by whores to post deceptive photos and cheap rates to get you through the door. Once you walk in on them they figure they are half way to your wallet. The reason for the B&S is very simple, the whores assume that you must be SOOOOO HORNEY, that you'll have sex with anybody with a pussy that comes in front of you. Most whores have a very low opinion of men as you might guess. They also rely on your fears and embarrassment. They assume that you are too much of a coward to simply walk out on them, and they are probably right. Too many guys feel that once they walk in a whorehouse they have to dash out money simply because they made the appointment. I got news for you guys, you ain't exactly making an appointment with a brain surgeon, OK. They are WHORES, do you really think they keep THEIR appointment if they don't want to. I don't think so.
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Then, there is the MODIFIED BAIT AND SWITCH. In this case, the whore in the picture will show her face BUT, by the time you get into your room, get totally undressed, and give them the money, another whore shows up and tells you that the girl you came to see is not available (insert phony reason, here) and now you are stuck with her, who invariably looks like the SKANK from another planet.. GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!!!Which brings me to another item: PAYMENT. Most whores let you in, get you to the room, ask you to take your clothes off (nothing happens unless you do as they tell you,) and then they ask you to PAY-UP front. In other words, you pay before any service even starts. Go figure! this is truly a one of a kind "industry." Coincidentally, in spite of what they advertise, SATISFACTION IS NEVER GUARANTEED, and there is no customer service booth you can complain to. After you hand them the cash, you have pretty much kissed it goodbye . It now becomes the luck of the draw. Again, if someone else shows up there is nothing you can do about it. Or even if the girl you asked for sees you shows up, she may give you a hundred and one reason why she can't do this or that (insert phony reason here). For instance, if they publicize full service, she may say you showed up on her bad day of the month, and she's on the rag. What usually happens now is that you get a hand job and in 10 minutes you're out of there. SO LONG, SUCKER!!!Suggestion: Let's get one thing straight boys, YOUR ARE NOT obligated to stay once you enter the whorehouse. You have the perfect right to ask for the service as you expect it, pay at the END of the session, and at the TERMINATION of the hour. If they don't agree, then you simply excuse yourself and leave. The same applies for outcalls (when they come to you) if the whore who walks in on you is not the one advertised, then you can tell her about the mismatch and ask her to leave. You may want to giver her $10 or $20 for gas money and as an insurance against causing a commotion, but you don't have to. Hopefully, if enough guys do this, the whores and their pimps will get the point ( but i won't hold my breath.)Conversely, if your girl is particularly pleasant, then please don't be a jerk and give her a decent tip. $20 to $30 is adequate.
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FINALLY, keep in mind that you're dealing with people who practice a CRIMINAL activity, and worse, the law considers YOU a criminal for patronizing their service. Invariably, these women are people with troubled lives, emotional and psychological problems, drug addicts, illegal immigrants and what not, in short, THE BOTTOM OF THE FOOD-CHAIN. In any dealing with these pathetic dregs you always have more to lose than they do, so BEWARE and be WARNED.
Your friend, Brother Theodore
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P.S. I'm sure I've left a lot of info out; that's where YOU come in. Your comments and observations are appreciated and will be added to this column as it is updated and posted by me regularly. After all, let's not have other men make the same mistake we made and have the whores laugh at us while they abuse and rip us off. If you are going to pay for sex, then, i say, get your money's worth, and not end up feeling like you've just been mugged.
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ALFRED E. NEUMAN FOR PRESIDENT
"He is just as smart as the other candidates, and twice as popular"
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